Self-Esteem for Teens

The teenage years are filled with new life experiences. Fostering healthy self-esteem in your teen empowers them to face these new experiences with confidence and resilience. It also helps them establish responsible behavior patterns and decision-making that will support their personal well-being, professional careers, relationships, and more.

Your parenting decisions, including those related to financial parenting, can have a considerable impact on your teen’s self esteem.

Developing Independence and Freedom

Your teen needs a secure, loving base as they learn the adult skills inherent in new life lessons like getting a job, establishing a bank account, etc. Good self-esteem provides a solid foundation for increased freedom and independence. A teen with strong self-esteem:

• Acts independently and responsibly.

• Exhibits good problem-solving skills.

• Can critically evaluate the consequences of actions.

• Assumes healthy risks, while denying unsafe ones.

• Accepts responsibility for mistakes.

• Paying an allowance promotes both money management for children and increased personal and financial independence.

Discovering Areas of Competency

Everyone has a talent and needs to feel they do something well. A teenager with healthy self-esteem is open to new tasks and challenges and demonstrates resilience in handling criticism or disappointment. They take pride in their efforts and achievements and are motivated by success.

Part-time work, a summer job, or internship offers benefits beyond basic earnings, including insights into potential careers, expanded work and life skills, and a boost for your teen’s self-esteem.

Volunteering typically entails lower expectations than paid work so it’s a good starting point for teens in need of self-confidence. Volunteer work can also reinforce family values if philanthropy is important to you.

Hobbies and activities offer your teen an avenue to explore self-identity, boosting self-esteem as competency increases.

Avoiding Comparisons to Others

Positive self-esteem enables your teen to value their uniqueness. This is especially important in helping to mitigate peer pressure.

Managing peer pressure typically requires compromise. Your kids need to understand that they don’t need to have all the same things as their friends, while you need to make some concessions so that your kids fit in.

Encourage your teen to feel valued (by you, other family members, peers, and the broader community). Teach them to be assertive and stand up for themselves, others, and the causes they support. Activities outside of your child’s school community can provide new social outlets, through sports, hobbies, or by the teen years, volunteer work or part-time employment.

For many parents, social media is a distinct peer pressure concern. While you should monitor online activity, remember that social media can provide your teen with a support system of like-minded peers, and offers a platform for self-expression and for staying connected in an ever-connected world.

Recognizing That Self-Value Extends Beyond Looks

This is an especially important issue if you have a daughter. Young women in particular are bombarded with gendered stereotypes and body imagery that can negatively impact their confidence.

Reinforce positive self-value and self-esteem in your teen in the following ways:

• Solicit their opinion – adolescents want to be treated like adults. Promoting greater financial independence as your children age can be critical toward this goal.

• Set realistic goals to promote success.

• Be generous with praise – of effort, not just success. It might not seem like it sometimes, but your teen still values your recognition and love far more than financial rewards, although financial rewards can be appropriate, or a strong incentive, in some circumstances.

• Encourage pride in a job well done.

• Balance saying ‘Yes’ or ‘No allows latitude for right – or wrong – decisions.

Learning to Care – About Themselves as Well as Others

Teen with healthy self-esteem cares about themselves, as well as others. In addition to focusing on physical wellbeing by eating well and exercising, remember to:

• Nurture mental well-being with positive reinforcement techniques like self-talk, journaling, or meditation.

• Develop coping strategies e.g., quiet time, socializing, laughing, keeping busy, or helping others.

• Promote volunteerism, gaining exposure to other life perspectives, and the goodness of sharing with others.

Helping guide your teen towards adulthood involves supporting every aspect of their personal growth and life learning.