How to Raise Happy Kids: Steps Backed by Science

Step 1: Get Happy Yourself

The first step to happier kids is, ironically, a little bit selfish. Extensive research has established a substantial link between mothers who feel depressed and “negative outcomes” in their children, such as acting out and other behavior problems. Parental depression actually seems to cause behavioral problems in kids; it also makes our parenting less effective.

Step 2: Teach Them To Build Relationships

Nobody denies learning about relationships is important — but how many parents actually spend the time to teach kids how to relate to others?

(Just saying “Hey, knock it off” when kids don’t get along really doesn’t go far in building essential people skills.)

Step 3: Expect Effort, Not Perfection

Note to perfectionist helicopter parents and Tiger Moms: cool it. Parents who overemphasize achievement are more likely to have kids with high levels of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse compared to other kids.

Step 4: Teach Optimism

Want to avoid dealing with a surly teenager? Then teach those pre-teens to look on the bright side. Ten-year-olds who are taught how to think and interpret the world optimistically are half as prone to depression when they later go through puberty.

Step 5: Teach Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a skill, not an inborn trait

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Thinking kids will just “naturally” come to understand their own emotions (let alone those of others) doesn’t set them up for success. Rain or shine, there are plenty of outdoor learning opportunities for your children- both in childcare and at home. So go outside, get dirty, and have fun! and learn new things at Dad blogs about parenting and kids.